Just do it 

Shia LeBoeuf once said:

Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow. So just do it. 

Hunter S. Thompson said:

If you end up doing something you’re unhappy with, convince yourself you had to and you won’t be alone.

The second one I have to say really gets me. The fact that if you don’t actually do what you want, take risks, dare to be different – you’ll resign yourself to an excuse cultivated by the very society you once challenged. And you’ll know it. 

I suppose it’s easy saying these big sweeping statement, but what if you don’t know what it is you’re trying to do? Hunter would reply it’s not about a dream job or a goal it’s about you. Being happy in you. And what that is completely depends on your perspective. 

My dad said to me before he died:

There’s so many opportunities for someone like you – just do it

I now think, with the help of Hunter and Shia, what he really meant was just do what makes you happy. The opportunities for doing that are endless. 

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Choo chew 

Types of people you encounter on trains:

1) Middle aged men off to the football/rugby getting smashed at 9am with a plastic bag of tinnies and a lot of bad chat. No thanks Barry I do not want to watch Rita Sue and Bob 2 or talk about the sausage scenes. Ew. 

2) Women on hen dos. Crack out the rose gals cause it’s gonna be a loud ride. Particularly grating when they have thick welsh accents as you can’t even hear their sordid plans. 

3) Forlorn students. Perhaps it wasn’t a great idea to see your grandparents on a come down? 

4) Old couples with The Times crosswords with a nice back-and-forth over the EU. Please do us all a favour and brexit the carriage.

5) Buisnessmen with out of date laptops. What is it about their 90s style technology and diplomatic phone calls. Your phone was always going to cut out, you knew this. Therefore why did you make the call or even receive it. Baffling.

6) The nutter. With a voice that sounds like they swallowed some custard that just won’t go down – the in depth story of how they met their second husband on world of war craft commences. 

Death becomes her

Grief is overwhelming. As remarked by every well know writer pretty much in the history of the world. It is actually also a feeling that I find, is relatively easy to explain but incredibly hard to understand. Reading (as I tend to do a lot) always relates back to death in whatever novel/paper/poem I decide to look at. So here are a few books for you, if you like me find solace in literature, to lose yourself in. This is in no endorsement that they make you feel better (whatever that means) but to feel normal/less like you are losing your mind.

  1. H is for Hawk – simply amazing and a cornucopia of themes that merge seamlessly.
  2. How to be both – strong female characters and beautifully written.
  3. Wuthering Heights – who doesn’t enjoy this dark and twisted fantasy.

Relation-shit

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a couple spending increasing amounts of time together is doomed. All hale the obsessive compulsion to leave early from nights out, not even attend the night at all and generally be totally absorbed in your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Clinging on means you don’t have to acknowledge the fact (publicly at least) that your relationship is failing. Well let me just tell you we all know. We know your boyfriend is a total perve. We know your girlfriend is too good for you. Don’t pretend that we don’t know that you know. We do.
In the end you are just waiting for one of you to end it. To finally push the other one so far away from reality (and social life) that they have to come clean first.
Sure you’re scared… but what’s scarier than the amount of time you wasted with someone you didn’t really want.

Insta-gran

This post hopefully introduces you to the greatest Instagram account of all time @grapespotting. Once you discover the incredible trend for elderly women to wear purple, prepare to become obsessed. They are literally everywhere. Once this initial amazement wanes try your hand at contributing. Past attempts have included trying to capture two grapes via selfie on the tube. A third popped into the shot and hey presto – it made my week. Not only this, the endless amount of grape puns will keep you inventive on the hashtag. I hope you’re grapeful for the recommendation!

grape

Workplace ‘Banter’

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There was little old me making a cup of tea in the office kitchen. Another terrible Tuesday morning which was just about to get worse.

A new lawyer had just joined my team. He was pretty good looking in a ‘best-of-the-office’ kind of way. He sidled up to me and some other colleagues and hit me with this:

‘You know there are two types of people in this world. To demonstrate – if the world was Argos there are those that are the front of house, customer facing people. Then there are the people that would be in the back of the stock room, away from everyone. You would be the latter.’

In fact not a day went by when he didn’t mention my gender (apparently I wouldn’t like anything he watched because of his bad taste I was a girl) and at one office party decided to explain, in great depth, how bodies are cremated. To a colleague who’s mum had just died.

Another colleague actually informed my secretary who was about to get married, how men only care about two things on their wedding day. Whether the dress is white and how much cleavage is on show.

But hey – I mean it’s all just banter isn’t it?