Things I have learnt during my twenties (List 2): 

1) Having a relatively small amount of money is preferable. Having lots of money is not. More money = more time spent worrying about money. 

2) Don’t go to a musical theatre karaoke night – you will think you’re really awesome at it and your not. Also beware the Anne Hathaway impressions – it was terrible the first time. 

3) Healthy eating does really work and will make me look good: but I just love marmite on toast and carbs in general. However deliciously Ella is a phoney – who the fuck can buy 1000 mejool dates and avocados and not suffer from some sort of bankruptcy/natural sugar crack addiction. 

4) Don’t accidentally encourage someone to get engaged without thinking of the consequences (ie that they actually get engaged). Then again marvel at how your advice is actually listened to and then quickly distance yourself/take all the glory.

5) If you dress all in black and start getting called the ‘rogue nun’ by family and friends – congratulations. 

6) If your friend starts dating a 40 year old man who may or may not have served some time – let it go. It’s great gossip material (so with that embrace your inner bitch). 

7) Every single 17 year old boy I know (my brother’s friends – steady on…) actually really wants a stable, loving relationship. Let’s destroy those stereotypes people – teenagers are human too. 

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Things I have learnt during my twenties (List 1):

– LFTW = No not London Fashion Week with a typo, this is living for the weekends. When you actually have a 9-5 job this struggle is real. But drinking in the week is also totally necessary.

– My dad passed away a month ago from a two and a half year ‘battle’ (as people like to call it) with cancer. A brain tumour to be specific and at age 53. So the second thing I have learnt isthat unfortunately I have one thing in common with Kim Kardashian and that the people you love most are not infallible and you will miss them unbearably.

– If you work in a golf club where the members are 90% rich, bald men, a bar job is not a real job. They are also allowed to remind you of this at every opportunity, whilst standing in front of people for whom the job is a ‘real’ job. But apparently trading in intangible debt is totally worth everyone’s time.

– Book clubs are totally awesome. They involve meeting up with friends, totally rinsing each others choices and drinking. What a brilliant idea.#croptogoalz

– This is apparently the best you are ever going to look. This worries me as I can not for the life of me remember when I last saw my hip bones or thought ‘hey – I am definitely going to wear that sequin crop top tonight’.  With fellow twenty years olds including Candice (pictured) this is doubly worrying.

To be continued….