Types of people you encounter on trains:
1) Middle aged men off to the football/rugby getting smashed at 9am with a plastic bag of tinnies and a lot of bad chat. No thanks Barry I do not want to watch Rita Sue and Bob 2 or talk about the sausage scenes. Ew.
2) Women on hen dos. Crack out the rose gals cause it’s gonna be a loud ride. Particularly grating when they have thick welsh accents as you can’t even hear their sordid plans.
3) Forlorn students. Perhaps it wasn’t a great idea to see your grandparents on a come down?
4) Old couples with The Times crosswords with a nice back-and-forth over the EU. Please do us all a favour and brexit the carriage.
5) Buisnessmen with out of date laptops. What is it about their 90s style technology and diplomatic phone calls. Your phone was always going to cut out, you knew this. Therefore why did you make the call or even receive it. Baffling.
6) The nutter. With a voice that sounds like they swallowed some custard that just won’t go down – the in depth story of how they met their second husband on world of war craft commences.